A Lazy Kunoichi and A Loud Mouth Blonde
by Kasueji1216
Summary: What if Ino was a guy and Shikamaru was a girl? Would Ino be just as annoying? Would Shikamaru still be lazy? Could their differences lead to romance? Genderbender, FemShikaxMaleIno
1. Dude looks like a lady

All characters are owned by Masahi Kishimoto, except for Inori and Shikano those are my creations*maniacal laughter*

Inori=Male Ino  
Shikano (Is that a girl name?)= Fem Shikamaru

This takes place in Naruto Shippuden. Enjoy!

* * *

"Shikano! Get your ass down here, now!"The shout echoed throughout the neighborhood coming from where else but the Nara home.

"Oh great, just what I need after a big mission, how troublesome."Shikano growled as she painstalkingly moved the covers to her side.

Her thoughts lingered to the other day, when Tsunade had assigned Team 10 on a C-rank mission to escort some old lady to the Village hidden in the mist. It had to be the most troublesome thing ever, especially when _she _was leading the mission.

~Yesterday morning~  
Shikano and Choji had been waiting by the front gate for at least a half hour, Choji was munching on some banana chips.

Shikano sighed, "I can't believe Tsunade made us get up and wait here at 6:00 in the morning! No one's even shown up. How troublesome."

Choji thought for a while still shoving fistful of chips into his mouth, "Welk, maybe _crunch_ she's tesching _crunch_ our endurance, _crunch_ you know to see, _crunch_ how patient we are _crunch_," Choji proposed in an indiscernible voice.

Shikano gave him a disgusted look.

'God, does he have to chew with his mouth open' she thought irritated.

"Well if that's the case then it's one of the most troublesome exercises I've ever heard of." Shikano complained

Choji looked her over,"hmm? You've been using that word a lot today and it's not like you to complain so much… that time of month again?" Choji foolishly, without thinking burst out.

Shikano glared at him, a murderous look appearing in her silky ebony eyes.

"Hehheh," Choji said laughing nervously dropping the bag of chips on the ground and backing away putting up both of his hands to defend himself.

"Just want to pretend the last minute of our lives never happened?"Choji suggested in a jittery voice, hoping Shikano wouldn't throw a kunai at him or something.

Shikano didn't have any anger management problems. Heck, she was probably the calmest person in the entire Konoha village, but hey you never knew what to expect from a girl.

"Let's," Shikano grumbled, she was just about to get up and start searching for the large breasted Godaime when she spotted Tsunade, and their 'client' walking towards them happily chatting.

They waited until they were close enough.

Tsunade gave them one of her sly smiles "You're up early, eh?"

Shikano and Choji just stood there with a 'are you kidding me' expression on their faces.

Tsunade gave a little laugh and gave them the instructions for the mission. "Akiko is an old friend of mine so I expect you to give her only the best," she paused her face suddenly turning dark. "If she's injured I'll see to it that you guys 'learn your lesson' understood?" There was a glint of pleasure in her eyes.

Choji and Shikano sweat dropped.

Finally Shikano broke the silence, "well like I said it's troublesome but I guess it's my duty as a shinobi," she smirked getting a grin from Tsunade.

"Ah, well we aren't getting anything accomplished by just standing here let's go!" Choji cheerfully advised.

15 minutes later they were deep in the forest, with Akiko in between the two of them for safety.

"Wait a minute!" Choji suddenly yelled startling everyone, Shikano stopped abruptly wondering if he spotted some sort of ninjutsu trap that she hadn't, but that was impossible! She had been carefully examining the area around them to make sure.

"Hmm? What is it?"Shikano whispered in case they were being spied on. She stepped in front of Akiko and got into her fighting stance her eyes darting in every direction.

What had he possibly seen?

Choji paused for a minute and thought really hard, "I feel like something's missing…"

Shikano sweat dropped.

"Don't tell me you forget to bring an extra supply of snacks!" She groaned annoyed.

"No not _something_, more like_ someone_…" Choji's voice trailed off as he looked into the sky above, deep in thought.

I took a while but a minute later Shikano and Choji both had the same funny look on their faces.

"INORI!"

Another 15 minutes later the Konohagakure village was in sight.

"We apologize again for the uh- interruption, Akiko-san." Choji apologized.

"Oh, I understand," the old lady good-naturedly replied. "Believe it or not I was once young too, and I also sometimes slacked off on my missions. Tsunade can tell you that," with that she uttered a mixture between a laugh and a wheeze.

As the trio approached the village, they could spot Inori waiting by the gate an annoyed expression on his face.

"Uh oh, get your earplugs ready Choji." Shikano sighed, she had been teammates with this blonde nightmare long enough to know when he was ticked off.

The minute they were within hearing distance Inori broke into a fit, "where have you been, huh? How could you forget me?"

Shikano rolled her jet black eyes, "well it's your fault for not-

"Hey! I'll let you know I have had a _very _stressful morning!" Inori cut her off, if looks could kill the whole village would be dead right now.

"Doing what?" Choji inquired.

Inori huffed blowing the bang that ran across his right eye to the side of his cheek.

"None- of- your- BUSINESS!"

'God,' Shikano thought, 'this guy has so many mood swings you'd think he was a woman, heh he looks like one too.' Amused by her little joke Shikano chuckled.

"ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?" Inori screeched, face red, seething with anger. "You have no idea what I go through, okay? So just...URRGG!"

"and why are you taking your anger out on us?"Shikano asked raising her eyebrows.

Inori's face was so red, it looked like his head was going to explode "Just-Whatever! So where's this old hag we're supposed to-

"INORI!"Choji and Shikano yelled simultaneously. Shikano snuck a quick glance at Akiko, relieved that the old lady didn't seem to have heard, it was a good thing she had bad hearing.

"Let's just go okay?" Inori snapped walking ahead of everyone else.

Halfway into the trip Akiko suddenly stopped, causing Shikano to halt abruptly to keep from knocking the old woman over, since she was now walking behind her.

"Hmm? What's wrong Akiko-san?" Choji asked looking worried.

The old lady gave him a reassuring smile, "oh no need to worry, I just need to take my pills. I have a bad stomach you know?"

Inori gave a rude snort which earned him a death glare from Choji.

Akiko slid her bag off of her shoulder and laid it near the trunk of one of the nearby trees. She then took out a cup which she proceeded to bring over to the river to fill. "Don't want to choke you know" she mumbled while taking a sip.

Tuning to Inori she said, "Eh, ojou-san* will you get me my pills from my bag?"

For a moment it seemed like everything went silent.

…

"Uh oh,"Choji muttered he and Shikano looking intently at Inori to see his reaction.

Inori's jaw dropped to the ground. Literally.

"What –did- you-SAY YOU OLD BAG?"His left eye was twitching uncontrollably, and in the blink of an eye started running towards the poor frightened lady, a stick in his hand. He looked like a rabid dog, spit flying out of his mouth as he yelled about what he was going to do to her.

"Shit!" Shikano quickly activated her shadow possession jutsu (It comes in handy when dealing with psychos you know?) stopping Inori in his tracks.

Ten minutes later after Inori had finally calmed down and finished yelling how nobody would ever understand him, and explaining to Akiko-san that Inori was a 'guy' they continued with their mission.

Shikano honestly didn't blame the old bag, if she didn't know Inori she'd think he was a girl too with his long blonde hair that ran all the way past his waist. He actually looked more like a girl than she did. Her short raven hair only reached to her shoulders not to mention how shaggy looking and unkept it looked. She just never bothered with it because it was 'too troublesome'.

Akiko feeling she needed to apologize turned to Inori, "hohoho, well dear, your hair smelled just like the shampoo I use 'Cherry field dreams', so that's one thing that lead me to believe you were a girl. I don't know many young men that care about their appearance, or how they smell so you'll have to excuse me."

Choji couldn't help but let out a snicker, Inori's eye started twitching again.

"Inori. Don't start, you've already put us 40 minutes behind schedule." Shikano warned him, giving him a 'I will knock you out and drag you the whole way if that's what it takes' look.

When the old bag found out that Inori was a guy she now started flirting with him much to everyone's disgust.

Shikano had to use her shadow possession jutsu twice more on Inori before they finally got to their destination. At least they didn't run into any enemies, it was more than she could take.

By the end of the day, Inori was in one of those 'I'm not talking to you because you're an idiot' moods.

'Pathetic' Shikano thought disgusted.

She recalled a past experience when Inori had gotten stuck in a giant spider web and started yelling at Shikano to help get him out.  
"Shikano! Shikano!-

"SHIKANO!"

Shikano suddenly sat up, slipping out of her thoughts.

She sweat dropped when she heard her mom's voice getting louder, her footsteps coming up the stairs

"Oh boy, what a way to start the day," she mumbled, quickly getting dressed to avoid as much 'counseling'(or you could say verbal abuse) from her mom as possible.

Between Inori and her mom she was already half deaf.

* * *

References:

*Ojou-san = young lady, so you see why Inori got mad!xD

Okay so thanks for reading! The next chapter won't be as long I promise.

So tell me what you think, and if you have any other gender bender requests just let me know! I mean I have all day. Literally.

So until next time!:)


	2. By two years you say?

Thanks for all the reviews! Sorry it took so long for me to update. I'm kind of lazy so it takes me a few days. This chapter is pretty short but enjoy!

* * *

"and I want you home no later than 9:00!"

"Yes mom."

"and you better eat all your breakfast! I don't want to see anything in the garbage like yesterday!"

"Yes mom."

"and I want you to wash the dishes before you go!"

Shikano sighed, 'what a drag, doesn't she trust me with anything? '

She must have stayed in her room longer than she thought because when she finally came down, her dad was halfway done with his breakfast and her mom was heading out to buy groceries.

Shikano was tempted to roll her eyes but common sense told her not to,"yah yah, alright."

Yoshino turned around sharply, "make that a yes and _once_!" Her ice cold eyes locked with Shikano's exhausted ones for a few seconds, telling her she meant business. She finally headed out but not before yelling, "Shikaku! You better fix that hole in the roof by tonight!"

Shikano waited until her mom had gone then released the breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding. Shikaku did the same, obviously equally terrified.

Why did her mom have to be like that? She reminded her so much of-

"Hey, dad?"

"Hmm?" her dad responded calmly without looking up, concentrating on his bowl of rice.

"Why are boys so, troublesome? "

Shikaku's head shot up and nearly chocked on his rice, apparently now interested.

He blinked then stared at her, "well, what do you mean?"

"I mean I just don't get them, they're so immature and annoying and they always want to be the strongest. What's up with that?"

"Well you know girls can be pretty annoying too-"he stopped when he saw the look on Shikano's face.

He coughed then went on, "what I meant was- well boys uh," he coughed again. 'Why does she have to bring this subject up, how troublesome,' he groaned inwardly.

"Well you know boys mature slower than girls so of course they're going to look immature to you. I guess they were just made that way, and not all of them are immature, take for example that guy from the Hyuga clan, Neji. Quite mature for his age.' He paused as if admiring the Hyuga descendant.

"Boys aren't always going to be immature though. Take me or any of the other Jonins for example."He said it proudly, even raising his head a little as if he were the prime example.

Shikano cringed when she thought of Kakashi and those perverted books of his. She knew her father was already uncomfortable with the subject so she just shrugged and smirked.

Shikaku went on, "and as for the competitiveness, well humans are naturally ambitious they'll always want to be the best, girls do it too."

Shikano thought of Sakura then cringed, "yah, I have to agree with you on that one."

Shikano sighed inwardly, not really having her question answered. She stood up shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Well I've got to go, busy day you know."

"Yes, I should probably get going too, Tsunade wanted to talk to me." Shikaku agreed pushing his chair back and standing up. He walked into the kitchen, dumping the dishes in the sink.

Shikano was about to head out when she remembered what her mom told her.

She pressed her hand against the door frame leaning inside, "hey, dad, do me a favor and wash the dishes. Bye." she closed the door quickly before Shikaku could protest.

Behind the door she could hear a muffled, "Wait! What?"

Shikaku waited until he was sure Shikano was out of hearing distance than chuckled.

"I swear that girl is going to be just like Yoshino."

* * *

So until next time! I'm thinking of introducing Temari hmm.


	3. Fiasco

Shikano sighed finally away from all the insanity. She started walking towarsd the center of the village placing her hands behind her head.

'Huh, how stupid of me to ask dad something like that. I should've known he wouldn't understand, he was probably a squeaky annoying brat when he was a kid too. I'm better off asking mom.'

She sighed knowing the events of her day would involve staring at the clouds where she would eventually be dragged down by Choji who would beg her to treat him to barbeque. She wasn't the ambitious type, in fact she would be content if the only thing she could do for the rest of her life was just stare at the clouds. On her days off she'd just stare at the clouds for hours sometimes the whole day, trying to imagine what it would be like to float in the air without a care, away from the hectic life of the village.

She pulled out a cigarette from the pocket of her vest and lit it drawing in a long breath. She still hadn't quit smoking despite Inori's many efforts and complaints of the smell. She just couldn't stop, for one it calmed her down but there was another reason...

It reminded her of Asuma. It seemed like everything got harder after he died-

No, after he was murdered by that damn Hidan! Choji and Inori weren't affected as much since they hadn't experienced it firsthand. She had always been closest to Asuma.

She had vowed on his grave that she would never let Hidan see the sun again...

Even if it meant giving up her life she would-

"but I don't have enough money! Just let me go and get Yamato-sensei, he'll pay for it!"

The familiar irritating voice broke into her thoughts bringing her back to reality.

A deeper voice replied, "Naruto, I know Yamato well enough to know he's not going to spend one yen on you."

"You don't know anything about him, we have a special relationship!"

Silence.

Shikano turned a corner taking in the scene, Teuchi was shaking his head and Ayame was staring at Naruto with a disgusted look on her face.

"No! Not like that!" Naruto shrieked waving his hands in the air.

'What the-' Shikano sweat dropped, 'that's just wrong. I better get out of here before I get involve-'

"Oh, Shikano! Hey Shikano! Come over here a second would you?"

'Well ignoring him's not going to work maybe I should pretend not to know him' she thought going over her options.

Naruto kept waving at her like an idiot jumping up and down.

Finally she walked over, Naruto grinned like an idiot. Turning to Teuchi he bragged, "I've got everything under control ! My friend here's loaded!" Naruto announced triumphantly.

Shikano groaned,'that brat!'

Sighing she moved the cigarette to one side of her mouth and asked, "how much is it?"

She always paid for the bill whenever she and Choji went out for barbeque, and Choji was no light eater. Besides, a scrawny little thing like Naruto possibly couldn't eat as much as Choji could.

'Oh well one more check's not going to make a difference.' She reassured herself and her wallet, as she took it out.

"Oh, uh, here's the bill." Naruto laughed nervously scratching the back of his head with his left hand while he handed the bill to Shikano with the other. "You know you're a good friend Shikano I really-

"Are-you –kidding-me?" She spat the words out dropping the check on the ground as if it were on fire,  
"how can you even eat that much!"

She turned to walk away but Naruto grabbed her shoulder.

"Wait Shikano, at least leave me your wallet!"

"Well what are you going to do now Naruto?" Teuchi asked raising his eyebrows smacking a wooden spoon against his hand.

Naruto started backing away laughing nervously then suddenly jumped up as if realizing something. "Hey! I just got back from a mission and I was really hungry! You know what? I should get this for free if it wasn't for me you guys might be dead!" Naruto shouted triumphantly as if it was a good excuse.

Ayame whispered something in Teuchi's ear.

Teuchi sighed giving in, "tell you what kid, I'll let you off if you and your friend wash the dishes and mop the floor at the end of the day."

"WHAT?" Naruto shrieked

Even more annoyed was Shikano, "What? How did I get involved in this? He's the one who did all the eating!"

Before Teuchi could respond a puff of smoke appeared.

Shikano sweat dropped, 'What is he-'

Everyone's jaws dropped to the ground as the smoke ascended.

"Teuchi-san, can't you just give little old me a break, just this once?" Naruto, now Naruko in a teasing voice pleaded, fluttering her eyelashes.

Teuchi suddenly looked a lot like Jiraiya, "O-o-o-of c-course!" The old geezer started laughing like an idiot, blood streaming out of his nose.

Five minutes later after 'Naruko' had, had her fun they were walking side by side, to nowhere in particular.

Naruto was like a never ending nightmare, he kept going on and on, "You know the sexy no jutsu is a great technique for getting out of trouble you should try it sometime!"

Shikano raised her eyebrows, "and let people see how I look when I'm naked? No thanks."

Shikano sighed once again being deprived from her relaxation, 'how can he even suggest something like that. Baka.'

She just wanted to sit and watch the clouds, was that too much to ask? Wait a minute. Why was she even walking with Naruto!

She got a sneaky idea to get rid of the blabber mouth ,"oh, Naruto I forgot to tell you. Sakura told me that she wanted to talk with you."

Naruto's eyes lit up hearing the pink haired kunoichi's name.

"W-what? Sakura-chan wanted to talk? To me? What did she want?"

Shikano gave him a sly smile, "I think she wanted to give you something special. She said to meet her in front of the Hokage's office."

Naruto grinned widely, "well, would you look at the time! I've got to go. Tell Choji I said hi!" He yelled as he ran towards the building.

Shikano chuckled at how easy Naruto was then stopped when she realized she'd have to face Sakura later on or rather her fists.

'Oh well I'll worry about that later.' Shikano moaned stretching her hands in the air, 'Great some free time now I can finally relax and-

"Hey, Shikano wait up!" she cringed as she heard the all too familiar loud voice and a flash of long blonde hair walking towards her.

She smacked her hand against her forehead and groaned, 'Why have the God's chosen to harass me, of all people?'

* * *

I just felt like writing something random so there weren't any InoShika moments but I promise you there will be some in the next chapter. Thanks for waiting and reading!


	4. A Real Man

So, it's been a while, don't kill me haha'^^. The truth is I had a really bad case of writers block, I must have re-written this chapter 20 times. Then I suddenly woke up this morning at like 2:00 and I knew exactly what to write.

It's pretty crazy how you get inspired at the weirdest times isn't it?

I don't want to make this fic too long so I'll probably be finishing up soon but then again I don't like to rush relationships, so we'll see.

* * *

"I said wait!"

Sighing, Shikano turned around knowing that ignoring Inori would just make him bother her even more, "What do you want Inori?"

He gave her one of those annoying grins of his, "Nothing really."

"Then why are you bothering me?" Shikano seethed at him, clearly pissed.

Turning to walk away she brought her fingers to her mouth as a habit to hold her cigarette and…

she felt nothing.

Annoyed she spun around and glared at Inori who was holding her cigarette between his thumb and fore finger, raising it above his head so that it was out of her reach, giving her a smug look. He might've been more feminine but he was definitely taller.

She was a little surprised that Inori was able to take the cigarette without her noticing, maybe she'd underestimated his abilities.*But, she quickly shook off her state of shock and glared at him again, she was not in the mood for one of Inori's 'games'.

Slowly inhaling and exhaling in order to maintain her cool she managed to let out a calm, "Inori give it back."

He smirked at her giving her one of his 'I'm not giving up without a fight' looks, Shikano sighed and turned to start walking away not in the mood to put up with Inori's childish behavior.

She was about a few feet away when she heard his taunt, "Too chicken to stand up for yourself?"

Stopping in her tracks she felt her fists clench, "Chicken?"she growled through clamped teeth.

Taunts didn't really bother her because she knew they weren't true but there was just something about Inori and that stupid face of his that just pissed her off so much.

Inori obviously delighted that he had gotten to her quickly took advantage of the situation and continued to tempt her, "You should be glad you know, I'm doing you a favor actually. A couple of years from now your lungs will be all black and shriveled." With that he threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped on it.

Shikano gritted her teeth, it was taking all she had not to go all out on him. She didn't know what it was, the most annoying and persuasive enemy could try to provoke her and she wouldn't respond but with Inori she got pissed off almost immediately.

"If it's a fight you're looking for Inori you're gonna be getting one pretty soon."

Seeing how serious Shikano was Inori backed up a little, "Geez, why do you always have to be so uptight?"

Shikano was glaring daggers at him now, she was enraged, "_Me _uptight? Are you kidding me? Have you already forgotten about your little 'episode' the other day? If anyone's uptight it's _you_!"

Inori stared at her in amazement, he'd never seen Shikano loose her cool like that before.'Wow, I can't believe she actually yelled at me,' he marveled '...Wait! She yelled at me?! Who the hell does she think she is?!'

Inori now also pissed carelessly retaliated, "Gosh Shikano you're still thinking about that? You need to let go of the past! You're so depressing, like how you're always mourning over Asuma. Is that why you smoke cigarettes? To remind you of him? Huh? What were you? Like in love with him or some-_SLAP_

_..._

_..._

_..._

It seemed like silence passed over them for the longest of time.

Inori raised his hand to feel his throbbing cheek.

Had Shikano really just smacked him? Inori knew he was a pushover and heck he knew that he never knew when to stop or when enough was enough, but this time he just knew he'd gone too far.

Shikano stood there still staring at him but not with eyes desiring to kill anymore, but eyes filled with sorrow and pain.

"Don't you dare speak about Asuma that way. You don't even care do you? All you care about is yourself, you're the most selfish person I know." Her voice was surprisingly calm and her eyes now reflected pity.

She turned her back to him,"You're not even worth my time"

She started to walk away again then stopped.

"...and you know what else?" She added,"Asuma may be dead but he'll be more a man than you ever will be.

Inori offended yelled back,"HEY! LISTEN HERE-

"No, you listen." Shikano replied in such a hushed voice Inori quieted down.

'A real man tries and resolves problems, not cause them

'A real man lets an insult or a hurtful word or two pass without trying to get even, because he's the bigger man

'A real man protects his teammates even if it means his life, not hide behind a boulder

'A real man can admit when he's wrong

'A real man considers others feelings

'A real man doesn't pick on others he knows that are weaker than him,

Tell me Inori are you a real man?"

Inori opened his mouth ready to respond but nothing came out. He couldn't say anything because he knew everything she'd just said hadn't described him at all(except for maybe the hiding behind the boulder part).

His face was red from anger and embarrassment, he could feel her smirking at his silence.

"Hm. That's what I thought. So I guess you shouldn't get angry the next time someone calls you a girl...Huh, pretty boy?" with that she continued walking leaving Inori staring after her, hurt by her words.

_Pretty boy_

He couldn't believe she'd called him that. Her of all people, that word was taboo to him like fat was to Choji and she knew that.

...

_She'd been there when it happened after all._

* * *

Hmm... I wonder what happened?(I really do because my brain hasn't made up that part yetxD)

I'm also thinking maybe I should have kept the character's names the same...

So anyway until next time, which hopefully won't take another 5 months or something.

*I know you're not supposed to start a sentence with but, but you know


End file.
